Monday, September 05, 2005
exploring through virginia woolf
“On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points”
Living in a place where your every move is being observed its hard to be authentic. The truth is whenever we go a little downhill, someone is always there to watch as fall, point, and laugh. Its easier to create stories and complain about someone’s incompetency, when they really have never been in there shoes. The truth is sometimes bad things do happen to good people and more times than you would think you will be misleaded by rumors and gossip, perhaps to the point that you would lose the opportunity to meet someone who might be just what you needed at the time. All this just because we rather believe fascinating stories that would give us a few laughs or perhaps entertain us for a while, than believe that the real story is just as common as your own.
“Knowing life for what it is. Living life for what it is. Is the light of every human being.”
What is living for you? maybe its becoming famous, being a great writer, marry rich or perhaps become successful. Some people would rather have something simpler like understanding and happiness. I can only speak for myself. For me knowing life is getting to a point where I could be happy with any moment in any situation and finally understanding where we come from and what we are meant to achieve. My light is completing whichever goal I came here to realize. Many times I asked my mother why I was the way I was and she told me “every one has a mission in this world and people that great missions tend to suffer, because by learning through mistakes and pain, they will be stronger to complete what they need to fulfill this. I feel you have something special inside you, that you don’t want to discover”. Mother always knows best.
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life”
avoiding life is probably something im really good at. I try so hard to not feel any type a pain that I tend to run away whatever it is I can’t handle or control. Sometimes facing that that causes us pain, will be what makes it go away. Time. I’ve been told over and over time heals, time heals and you know what I learned after 20 years in this young body with this old soul, that it does.
“My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery --always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What's this passion for?”
In my particular, weird, complicated case. I feel tired of myself, always thinking, always contemplating, always wondering. Whenever I tell one of the people I love most in this world, ive been thinking. His response is always, thinking isn’t good for you. the reason why my mind is always buzzing its because im trying to comprehend everything that surrounds me, as a believer that we are only temporarily in this earth and only passing to learn another lesson and move on to another life… I tend to go off buzzing about trying to uncover secrets of the soul. But what is this passion for?