There's music in love, love in music, and life is all in between

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

a whole lot of nothingness

with the ghost of you who is always there im left to fend for my own thoughts but always knowing youre there. may you be able to count on me like i do on you

light of my heart that like a flickering candle is threatening to turn off, as a rough wind has passed this way. and in the darkness i can see that somehow i have been sorrounded by everlasting bits of extasy that lift me up and give me hope again. and when this all fades away and when the lamp is finally left on its on, will i still be yearning the vivacious and constant monotany that i've held so dear.





so this weekend things seemed to go on about in a very strange way, where i had to come across things i havent yet wanted to think about which left me wandering about in my own world of thoughts who's only guest is I. during this search for meaning i was distracted:

ring ring
(blocked id)

alo?

is this sheila

uhh yeah.....

are you from australia sheila (background x= 2)

umm who is it...

.......(dead silence)

sarina... i dont know who this is....

*sarina* click..... i made it easy....

ok so back to the analyzing... i figured out... well this i always knew... that perhaps i think too much and its better to leave things......

ring ring

hello?

.......(dead silence)

click

ok whatever back on the soul thing... wait i wonder who was it that called.../ it sounded like james but no hes sleeping.... ok moving on.... its better to leave things.... maybe it was rimsky i bet it was him.... nope wasnt him..... its better to leave things.... no... it couldnt be.... but maybe.... nahhh impossible.... but if "it" did..... no no just forget it....

anyways where was i.... oh yes its better to leave things... great i've lost my string of mini epyphanies. shoulda, coulda, woulda........

Friday, October 21, 2005

To make a mountain

i was listening to music today and i heard a very interesting song from a very interesiting group who seems to always give us some inspirational message from the group that brought us the song popular.... nadasurf. ok so today listening to always love got me thinking about everything and of course my sister was my inspiration when she stole his frase by telling me if you want to make a mountain of your life go ahead but i wont..... so today's inspirational quote will be: "To make a mountain of your life Is just a choice But I never learned enough to listen to the voice that told me Always love…hate will get you every time Always love…Don’t wait till the finish line" so dont let your sould get invaded by such hate because then you wont allow love to come inside your soul. keep in mind that the best way to beat your enemy is with compassion, love and friendliness...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005



ok so i really dont feel like writing because i want to smoke a cigarrette... but lets see what comes out.

hanging out like usual, im stormed with everyday problems of everyday people, which of course leads to me analyzing everything and finally publish it here..... most of the time.

yesterday i was bombarded with situations on love, and thinking i could solve their problems people usually really on me... i dont necessary know why but whatever totally not the point right now. at that moment i decided to look up the meaning of love and here's what i found:

love ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lv)n.
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
Sexual passion.
Sexual intercourse.
A love affair.
An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.


loved, lov·ing, loves v. tr.
To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends.
To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).
To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.
To embrace or caress.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming.
Theology. To have charity for.
To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.

so thats love... a very simple definition that doesnt seem to really capture the essense of what we have learned is love..... ok think about that for a sec.... ill be back later or tommorrow to write the rest....


so i said, im sorry i missed you, i guess the arrow didnt hold.

not normally moody

Through her eyes

If forgetting was that easy I would have done it long ago.
But what love doesn’t tell you is that the end hurts most.
And maybe I’ve forgotten, I surely have let go.
But still you’re like a ghost and I your welcoming host.

I’m trying to accommodate a feeling that can’t exist
While trying to rid this sensation that wishes to reminisce
So bid this sentiment farewell, saying I insist.
But still I cant help feeling my arrow was the one that missed.

On the long way down I realized I may have been the one lost
And perhaps a reason why he felt his feelings had been neglected
Hence I apologized saying, this love is star-crossed.
But still I think all this is a mood that has wrongfully been listed.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

About me

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
001. Sheila
002. Shei shei
003. Nathalie

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
001. my hair(when it was long)
002. my smile
003. ….everything (full of myself)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
001. Dominican
002. COLOMBIAN
003. italian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
001. ghosts
002. scary movies (obviously)
003. death

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
001. cigarrette
002. shower
003. food

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
001. vote for pedro tshirt
002. jeans
003. glasses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS [at the moment]:
001. the used
002. the wreckers
003. Dashboard confessionals

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS [at the moment]:
001. the good kind- wreckers
002. blue and yellow- the used
003. hands down

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
001. trust
002. love
003. attention(all on me of course)

TWO TRUTHS & A LIE [in no particular order]:
001. I hate shopping
002. I love writing
003. I hate being away from home for long periods of time

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
001. Smile(very important)
002. personality(smart please)
003. eyes

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
001. SLEEPING
002. day dreaming
003. writing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
001. smoke
002. get hypnotized so I can stop smoking
003. eat… im hungry

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
001. psychologist specializing in addiction….. im on my way to that
002. HOUSE WIFE(my favorite…. And when I mean housewife I mean not doing
anything at all… well somethings)
003. profiler

THREE KID'S NAMES:
001. Rodrigo
002. Emma
003. Katherine

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
001. find the essence of happiness
002. have kids
003. succeed in whatever challenge god has for me

THREE THINGS I HATE:
001. rumors
002. immaturity(being funny is not being immature, its having sense of humor
don’t misunderstand me)
003. losing a discussion (which means I never lose)

THREE OF MY HAPPIEST MOMENTS:
001. When I graduated, which is also the saddest
002. When I got my literature medal
003. when I went to constanza with my boyfriend and my family

THREE FAVORITE PHRASES:
001. “I can sum up what ive learned in life in 3 words: IT GOES ON”
002. “life is like a box of chocolates you never know what youre gonna get”
003. “It takes two to tango”

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

my boyfriend

ok so since i never talk about him i decided to dedicate this post to him..., so i met james like 2 years ago just when i start college and he was the type of person i really really didnt like near me, but seemed to be there everytime i didnt want to be alone. so yes i thought he was a little snobish and kinda "quiet". he was the rude kind of quiet... yeah i really didnt like him, but i didnt dislike him either. Well after having to hang out for so long, he kinda grew on me and i kinda grew on him. now it wasnt the "he's the only one here so i will have to sit with him" kinda thing, but more like oh theres james let me go to him. so after i missed a semester i was surprised to find an email of him saying something that james would say (when hes drunk and looking for a girl). but whatever thats another story altogether. continuing on, i write back saying i missed his "quietness"/stupidness. so he asks me out, me being as undecided as i am say sure, but wondering how im gonna get out of it if i decide i dont really want to go out with him. well after a while we do go out and catch a movie. during the movie i just thought.... oh this sucks... this dude doesnt talk but i knew that... great im bored, its kinda scary movie and everytime i get scared, he calls me a wuss. ok so not everything was bad after that it got a little better, but we werent just that into each other but somehow we keep calling one another... and while he throughs "witty" insulting remarks, i do the same with much more sutleness. It wasnt gonna get anywhere i mean this guy who told me he would never ask a girl to be his girlfriend is just not what im looking for. i realized then that maybe i needed something different. so we dated for what seemed like forever(which really was like a month or so) and then all drunk (like usual back then) i said something like im mad at you and hes like oh thats too bad cause i wanted you to be my girlfriend... by this point i was like your kidding right? and hes like no... im like yes you are and after awhile i bought it... so here we are almost six very strange months later. now your probably wondering what our relationship is like... well its kinda off a rollercoaster of everything. i am spoiled i can admit that, and for such different personalities to be together we kinda needed to come to a middle ground.... which isnt always what i do best, and thinking this was gonna be a passing thing its become much more than that. and ive learn to love everything about him cause he is alot to handle, but so am i. so there i love you you idiot

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Used-Bert

so what have i been doing lately you wonder... nothing much.... university... sleep... music... my obsession. ok so yes i have become addicted to emo, but whatever, rather an addiction to music than to anything else dont you think. this band, the used, is an incredible mixture of sound, passion and great lyrics. at first i heard the songs thought hmm this is interesting and all the sudden i've been like sucked into this world of the used. it seems that every song has a special meaning you can identify with. after reading well, i was gonna say just about them, but i should say EVERYTHING about them, i understand now why i like them so much. its hard to find soething you can relate to and wether its pop, rock, punk, metal whatever it seems all bands have something similarities to them and this one seems to break away that mold. ok so whatever... i sound... fanatic... which is so anti-me....ok...im being weird again... ayy olvidalo