ive had another epiphany and im getting there to accepting it. so today i went to the lake with sarina, my beautiful sister, ewald, my wonderful ex cunis/my brother cause i love him like he were family, and regal, who's just nuts. we had a wonderful time, but alone in a hammock makes you miss things, people and situations, but today... i throw in the towel. this has been a thinking week (obviously).
yesterday, michi, my other ex cunis/sister made me hear OUR song, its ours cause it relates to both our situations. although im 6 years older than her, through her i notice that when it comes to matters of the heart age doesnt matter. so through uneasy nights and early mornings we reviewed our stories trying to find holes on it, holes that would fill the empty ones in our hearts. but sometimes, there arent holes just uncertainties. but we'll get through it, cause we are strong and even stronger when its the three of us (sarina, michi, and me).
sarina, the mother figure, tells us what we dont want to hear. she portrays the person we want to become, because she seems so distant, so methodical in her thinking its amazing to hear her speak. but they are only pg-13 conversations.
michi, the daughter figure, she lets us remember what it felt like, ive watched her grow for a couple(very few) years now and as she gets older i get to experience things i didnt get to experience at that age and then again remind myself of all the fun, with small things you could have. sleep overs are always eases the soul.
me, the positive one, try to always see a way to make things happy (even though here it doesnt seem that way, but then im just releasing what i feel inside). of course im also the writer, the one who tries to search deeper into everything and help with the uncertainties, to write it all :P.
"oh its what you do to me, oh its what you do to me"