There's music in love, love in music, and life is all in between

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Specials

It's hard for me not to feel awkward when people praise me for helping others. I suppose its because i have it very engrained in my soul that we shouldn't seek acknowledgement for doing a service. I once told someone very special to me that I did it because it had to be done, which is why i didn't understand why they were so proud of me. its like, this IS what people do.... right? 

I know I'm wrong, most people wouldnt do these things. It appalls me, basically inconceivable that people see these horrible things occurring all around them and turn away or try to find the easy way out. this is the secret most people dont know: im a bum. i hate driving, i hate moving from were im comfortable, id stay in my room forever till night falls (then im awake). But my passion is trying to do the right thing, to give my best for the cause. Philanthropy they call it. love for humanity. 

It's simply love, I would help my worst enemy if they needed it. My cousin is always talking about being Zen... about reaching this spiritual level were these negative sentiments just lose their values. Two months ago, i lost something dear to me and someone not so dear to me (a part of myself) but i discovered i gained so much more... i learned to be at peace.

My father told me a few months ago i lost two years of my life (i havent worked in a year and a half) and i thought about what he meant since i felt ive gained so much more than ive lost. I can barely recognize myself, this banal things have lost their meaning being substituted instead for much grander values. Peace, harmony, solidarity, love, and empathy. 

how can you gain these things? I wouldnt know; it has to do with humility, learning not to be so proud and separating yourself from material or banal commodities focusing instead on your heart.

Breathe and be grateful. 

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